I feel like a three year old...

Not as good as I was hoping. Life right now is so transitional that it's hard to know what I'm feeling from one day to another. I used to wonder what was going through the kids' in my class minds during the day when they would all of a sudden get so frustrated that they'd be angry and throwing stuff and sad and crying and climbing on my lap for a hug all at the same time...I think I know now.

Life's been a little overwhelming as of late. Charting my temp every morning and trying to workout and trying to pack and trying to stay healthy and trying to find a job and trying to find my purpose....it's all very weird. Today, I think it all came kinda crashing in on me. I lost 1.5 pounds so that's good and right now that's all I'm really excited about...which is better than being excited about nothing.

I'm in a wedding in a few months so I ordered the dress larger than I needed so that I would have the room in the event that I got prego. I've decided to take a break from that so now all I have to do is not fit the dress and I'll be good to go. I wanted to order P90X at Christmas and I didn't so I'm going to order it once we move. The doctor told me to make sure I'm not working out more than 7 hours a week and since I've decided to take a break from that I can really enjoy my workouts with out having to be overly mindful about my ovaries or whatever.

Things that really suck right now: late AF and neg hpt, Julius being so cute and the worst dog ever (only 1 step better than Marley),packing, still having blurry eyes and dizziness sometimes.

Things I'm starting to look forward to: running in my new neighborhood, not living across the street from the fire department, being able to join a small group at the church we've found, not worrying about sitting in a hot tub or running too much or having too high of a hr or temp or forgetting to take prenatal vitamins because what if the sprout's brain is developing today...

Today was a sucky day, I've not adjusted to certain things that I thought I have and now I've got to figure out how to build a bridge and get over it...or at least wade my way through it. My eyes are swollen and I have a headache but at least I'm not standing on the shoreline trying to figure out where to begin.