So, now that I've been tracking my calories I am finding many of my pitfalls. As I said to my sister, these aren't necessarily my fault however I am ultimately responsible for what I put into my body. When I reference these things I'm speaking of fast food and restaurants. While I am responsible for eating a cheeseburger as my "fun meal" it is not my fault that there are 1800 calories in it. WHAT IN THE WORLD ARE YOU PUTTING IN THE FOOD?!?!? Even making a similar burger at home I honestly cannot figure out how you would add so many calories to a basic food.
This, I believe, has helped lead the way for our nations obesity problem and the fact that this new generation is the first in quite some time to actually have a lifetime that is projected to be less than their parents. I had a friend who died and I can't imagine how his children or his parents feel. The fact of the matter is, unless we change drastically, this will be a much more common occurrence. I often hear, "no parent should outlive their child." Well, I have some bad news America. Unless we change quickly and immediately then that's something we better get used to.
On my little baby making adventure I'm beginning to understand how much love parents really have for their children. That being said, and understanding that I'm not a parent yet, I would think that a parent would do anything in their power to make sure that their children are healthy and grow the way they're supposed to. I was having a conversation with a lady about some of the kids I'd worked with. One of the children, a little girl already showing signs of obesity, said that she gets to pick out a doughnut every morning for breakfast. The lady said "If a 6 year old is overweight, that's the parent's fault". That, my friends, is an unbelievably tough pill to swallow as accepting guilt is difficult, but better to swallow that pill now than at your child's funeral.
Sure we all like to see how cute kids are when they're hungrily stuffing ice cream down their throats and there's chocolate syrup all over their faces...and I'm not saying this should stop completely but let me ask you this. When does this stop becoming cute? Does it happen when they're teenagers and they're overweight and having difficulties with self image? Does it happen when they develop eating disorders? Does it happen when they're diagnosed with juvenile diabetes? Does it happen when they try to have children and the doctor says that it won't happen until they lose weight? Does it happen before or after they get their stomach stapled?
Or, maybe it happens once they've been diagnosed with diabetes, high blood pressure or high cholesterol...or maybe when they have a stroke unexpectedly...either way, it eventually happens one way or another.
Please don't misunderstand what I'm trying to say. I'm NOT saying that we should never have any food that we really enjoy and only eat vegetables (although, I know if you add them you will eventually start to like them). I'm NOT saying that we should all be super skinny. I'm NOT saying that if you've ever gained weight or struggled with that then you are a bad person...
What I am saying is that it is YOUR responsibility to make sure that you know what you're putting in your body. I think that the food industry has made us ignorant about certain things and that it's very difficult to know what's right but it doesn't change the fact that the responsibility still lies with us. We should all be HEALTHY!! That in now way shape or form means we should all be a size 2. There is a certain fitness level that we each should be at as well as eating properly. If you are healthy and a size 12, 8, or 2 then so be it. The goal is to be healthy...and to pass that on to our children. There are many things that are said to be associated with health from cancer to limb amputation. Let's do what we can to give our children and grandchildren a fighting chance at life and not crush it before it starts.
Wednesday, March 31, 2010
Tuesday, March 23, 2010
Today's a little better
Last night, I went to a webinar on fertility. I actually left feeling much better about that aspect of my life. I didn't plan on writing about this here but it came up and so now I'm writing about it. After working with youth and seeing accidental pregnancies it's easy to forget that like everything else in the body it is a wonderfully complex machine. So, if anyone has any questions...ask away haha.
In the meantime, I've got to figure out how te release some stress in my life. Moving is stressful and those test always ask if you've moved in the past year and my answer to that question has been yes for the past 5 years...that's alot for someone who's not in the military or running from the law.
I'm looking forward to so much that will be happening in the next little bit of time I just have to get past the every day stresses that seem to be popping up left and right.
Now, if I could just get someone to help me pack some boxes...
In the meantime, I've got to figure out how te release some stress in my life. Moving is stressful and those test always ask if you've moved in the past year and my answer to that question has been yes for the past 5 years...that's alot for someone who's not in the military or running from the law.
I'm looking forward to so much that will be happening in the next little bit of time I just have to get past the every day stresses that seem to be popping up left and right.
Now, if I could just get someone to help me pack some boxes...
Monday, March 22, 2010
I feel like a three year old...
Not as good as I was hoping. Life right now is so transitional that it's hard to know what I'm feeling from one day to another. I used to wonder what was going through the kids' in my class minds during the day when they would all of a sudden get so frustrated that they'd be angry and throwing stuff and sad and crying and climbing on my lap for a hug all at the same time...I think I know now.
Life's been a little overwhelming as of late. Charting my temp every morning and trying to workout and trying to pack and trying to stay healthy and trying to find a job and trying to find my purpose....it's all very weird. Today, I think it all came kinda crashing in on me. I lost 1.5 pounds so that's good and right now that's all I'm really excited about...which is better than being excited about nothing.
I'm in a wedding in a few months so I ordered the dress larger than I needed so that I would have the room in the event that I got prego. I've decided to take a break from that so now all I have to do is not fit the dress and I'll be good to go. I wanted to order P90X at Christmas and I didn't so I'm going to order it once we move. The doctor told me to make sure I'm not working out more than 7 hours a week and since I've decided to take a break from that I can really enjoy my workouts with out having to be overly mindful about my ovaries or whatever.
Things that really suck right now: late AF and neg hpt, Julius being so cute and the worst dog ever (only 1 step better than Marley),packing, still having blurry eyes and dizziness sometimes.
Things I'm starting to look forward to: running in my new neighborhood, not living across the street from the fire department, being able to join a small group at the church we've found, not worrying about sitting in a hot tub or running too much or having too high of a hr or temp or forgetting to take prenatal vitamins because what if the sprout's brain is developing today...
Today was a sucky day, I've not adjusted to certain things that I thought I have and now I've got to figure out how to build a bridge and get over it...or at least wade my way through it. My eyes are swollen and I have a headache but at least I'm not standing on the shoreline trying to figure out where to begin.
Life's been a little overwhelming as of late. Charting my temp every morning and trying to workout and trying to pack and trying to stay healthy and trying to find a job and trying to find my purpose....it's all very weird. Today, I think it all came kinda crashing in on me. I lost 1.5 pounds so that's good and right now that's all I'm really excited about...which is better than being excited about nothing.
I'm in a wedding in a few months so I ordered the dress larger than I needed so that I would have the room in the event that I got prego. I've decided to take a break from that so now all I have to do is not fit the dress and I'll be good to go. I wanted to order P90X at Christmas and I didn't so I'm going to order it once we move. The doctor told me to make sure I'm not working out more than 7 hours a week and since I've decided to take a break from that I can really enjoy my workouts with out having to be overly mindful about my ovaries or whatever.
Things that really suck right now: late AF and neg hpt, Julius being so cute and the worst dog ever (only 1 step better than Marley),packing, still having blurry eyes and dizziness sometimes.
Things I'm starting to look forward to: running in my new neighborhood, not living across the street from the fire department, being able to join a small group at the church we've found, not worrying about sitting in a hot tub or running too much or having too high of a hr or temp or forgetting to take prenatal vitamins because what if the sprout's brain is developing today...
Today was a sucky day, I've not adjusted to certain things that I thought I have and now I've got to figure out how to build a bridge and get over it...or at least wade my way through it. My eyes are swollen and I have a headache but at least I'm not standing on the shoreline trying to figure out where to begin.
Saturday, March 13, 2010
Life is like a box of chocolates...
I clearly don't need to elaborate on this, we're all familiar with Forrest. Today was an insane day, which matched the rest of my week actually. I'm having this weird combination of emotions when I'm not really sure how I feel about anything. I do remember that the last time life was this hectic was when I moved out to Phoenix. That was such a lifechanging experience it only makes sense that something would try to stop it.
I was a little apprehensive about moving and all of the things that are going on in life right now. I felt like us moving was the right thing to do after praying about it for the past 6 months or so. It's almost like buyers remorse, except it's not. I'm very excited about this chapter in our lives but it's occuring simultaneously with some other really weird stuff.
Right now, I'm trying to rest in the fact that I do believe that G-d knows what he's doing. This is hard for me, I've always had a hard time believing that G-d really wants good things for me. I had been so fearful of things I was really excited for this year to be a turning point for me. But, alas, I will not be running the race tomorrow because vertigo is hard enough to walk with and lets face it...puking on the other runners is not the way I'd like to start my race adventures. I'm okay with that, we're out the entrance fee but I have to trust that things worked out for a reason this way.
The place where we're moving is my top choice and it seemed like G-d had allowed that door to be closed and then it seemed like the moving was not going to happen due to some other circumstances. However, it seems to me now that in fact it was G-d intervening on our behalf to really give us what we were praying for. I have a very specific list of reasons as to why I'm praying for some of these things. After watching that fall into place I'm still surprised at the part of me that is fearful that G-d doesn't have my back.
In my attempt to be optimistic and hopeful for the future there are some things that I'm going to be doing differently. I know lots of people have hope chests for when they get married...I'm going to start one for when we have children. This is something that's very dear to my heart and that I've struggled with. To change my mindset, I will start purchasing things for my "hope" chest. I'm also having faith that the Lord will send me the right job at the right time doing what he's called me to, its just the waiting that's so hard.
I look at some things that have been happening in my life that could not be coincidences. I do believe that the Lord is working on my behalf and bringing people into my life who I can encourage and who can encourage me also. It's been a rough bit of time here as I've not met anyone who I can really hang out with and be myself with. I have some close friends and I know that G-d's put them into my life (ironically, even as cynical as I am towards "Christians" these people are wonderful and don't judge me at all for where I am).
I feel restless which is perhaps contributing to my weird mood. Occasionally, and seemingly often this year, I have to take a step back and realize that there are so many things in life that we can't change and to focus my energy on that is not the right thing to do. So, for at least the next 30 minutes I will remember to try to constantly cast everything on Him...I believe that He can handle it.
Prayer requests:
Help moving (as of now it's just me and josh)
Our car
Gainful employment
Direction as far as ministry etc goes.
I appreciate you guys.
I was a little apprehensive about moving and all of the things that are going on in life right now. I felt like us moving was the right thing to do after praying about it for the past 6 months or so. It's almost like buyers remorse, except it's not. I'm very excited about this chapter in our lives but it's occuring simultaneously with some other really weird stuff.
Right now, I'm trying to rest in the fact that I do believe that G-d knows what he's doing. This is hard for me, I've always had a hard time believing that G-d really wants good things for me. I had been so fearful of things I was really excited for this year to be a turning point for me. But, alas, I will not be running the race tomorrow because vertigo is hard enough to walk with and lets face it...puking on the other runners is not the way I'd like to start my race adventures. I'm okay with that, we're out the entrance fee but I have to trust that things worked out for a reason this way.
The place where we're moving is my top choice and it seemed like G-d had allowed that door to be closed and then it seemed like the moving was not going to happen due to some other circumstances. However, it seems to me now that in fact it was G-d intervening on our behalf to really give us what we were praying for. I have a very specific list of reasons as to why I'm praying for some of these things. After watching that fall into place I'm still surprised at the part of me that is fearful that G-d doesn't have my back.
In my attempt to be optimistic and hopeful for the future there are some things that I'm going to be doing differently. I know lots of people have hope chests for when they get married...I'm going to start one for when we have children. This is something that's very dear to my heart and that I've struggled with. To change my mindset, I will start purchasing things for my "hope" chest. I'm also having faith that the Lord will send me the right job at the right time doing what he's called me to, its just the waiting that's so hard.
I look at some things that have been happening in my life that could not be coincidences. I do believe that the Lord is working on my behalf and bringing people into my life who I can encourage and who can encourage me also. It's been a rough bit of time here as I've not met anyone who I can really hang out with and be myself with. I have some close friends and I know that G-d's put them into my life (ironically, even as cynical as I am towards "Christians" these people are wonderful and don't judge me at all for where I am).
I feel restless which is perhaps contributing to my weird mood. Occasionally, and seemingly often this year, I have to take a step back and realize that there are so many things in life that we can't change and to focus my energy on that is not the right thing to do. So, for at least the next 30 minutes I will remember to try to constantly cast everything on Him...I believe that He can handle it.
Prayer requests:
Help moving (as of now it's just me and josh)
Our car
Gainful employment
Direction as far as ministry etc goes.
I appreciate you guys.
Tuesday, March 9, 2010
Tire swing
I absolutely abhor tire swings however I woke up the other night and my room was spinning like I was on a tire swing. Then I proceeded to vascelate between spinning and puking for the next few hours. I was informed yesterday that I have an inner ear infection. I got a shot in the butt for vertigo and some kind of patch to help with the nausea. That song "you spin me right round" will never be as amusing to me as it was before this ridiculous ordeal. I'm not sure that I'll be able to run on Saturday but I'm gonna get out there and try. The doctor said I should be able to...
Now to the real subject. So a friend asked me what I'm trying to prove to myself. Here is the sad truth of the matter. I'd like to do something and feel good about myself after I've completed it, to know that I'm good enough. This is one of the reasons Josh says he doesn't want to live in a small town...I was reading the latest Runner's World and Cara Goucher goes to a sports psychologist to help her hurdle her mental obstacles. I'm quite sure that this makes up 90% of the reasons I dont do things that I would love to. After being made fun of in high school and having some seriously negative professors, it's really hard to remember the nice stuff. I realize that while I'm not the best at anything I'm really good at alot of things but that doesn't seem to be enough. For some reason, I feel like I have to be better at things than I am. I'm not sure where this came from but I do feel serious pressure to be amazing at some things.
Things i've realized:
)1 Since I have a degree in music I also know lots of other people who play the piano and sing on the same level or better than me.
2) After realizing this, i also realize that there are millions of people who can't do either one as well as I can.
3)I babysat a little boy who cried and cried and told me that I wanted him to be perfect because I'm a perfectionist but he couldn't be...of course I wasn't expecting him to be perfect but I do think that internally I would prefer it if everything was perfect.
4) This conflict doesn't just translate to music and pursuing that dream but also in running. I enjoy running for the sake of running however, I realize that I'm feeling a considerable amount of anxiety concerning this upcoming race.
I'm not expecting anyone to say "o, you did a good job." because that doesn't really matter this is just me being honest. I really like life better when I don't feel like God is kinda apathetic when it comes to me. It's hard for me to remember that life is a journey because for the last few years I've felt like I'm just sitting in the same place but in different places in the country. I do believe that there is a plan for me and that I'm somehow on this road but even with the good news today, it still feels a little foggy...
Now to the real subject. So a friend asked me what I'm trying to prove to myself. Here is the sad truth of the matter. I'd like to do something and feel good about myself after I've completed it, to know that I'm good enough. This is one of the reasons Josh says he doesn't want to live in a small town...I was reading the latest Runner's World and Cara Goucher goes to a sports psychologist to help her hurdle her mental obstacles. I'm quite sure that this makes up 90% of the reasons I dont do things that I would love to. After being made fun of in high school and having some seriously negative professors, it's really hard to remember the nice stuff. I realize that while I'm not the best at anything I'm really good at alot of things but that doesn't seem to be enough. For some reason, I feel like I have to be better at things than I am. I'm not sure where this came from but I do feel serious pressure to be amazing at some things.
Things i've realized:
)1 Since I have a degree in music I also know lots of other people who play the piano and sing on the same level or better than me.
2) After realizing this, i also realize that there are millions of people who can't do either one as well as I can.
3)I babysat a little boy who cried and cried and told me that I wanted him to be perfect because I'm a perfectionist but he couldn't be...of course I wasn't expecting him to be perfect but I do think that internally I would prefer it if everything was perfect.
4) This conflict doesn't just translate to music and pursuing that dream but also in running. I enjoy running for the sake of running however, I realize that I'm feeling a considerable amount of anxiety concerning this upcoming race.
I'm not expecting anyone to say "o, you did a good job." because that doesn't really matter this is just me being honest. I really like life better when I don't feel like God is kinda apathetic when it comes to me. It's hard for me to remember that life is a journey because for the last few years I've felt like I'm just sitting in the same place but in different places in the country. I do believe that there is a plan for me and that I'm somehow on this road but even with the good news today, it still feels a little foggy...
Wednesday, March 3, 2010
Sometimes it just sucks...
...and now is one of those times. So, everything has been super disappointing lately. I'm really frustrated at the lack of progress I feel like I'm making. I'm frustrated about some stuff personally. I'm frustrated because I can't find a freaking job. I'm frustrated because my dog is psycho and we can't figure out how to help her. I'm really frustrated because something I wanted totally fell through. I'm extremely frustrated at how much I underestimated my calories last week. I thought I was being generous enough to be close, little did I know that I was still like 1000 off- for ONE MEAL!!!!
It's really hard to go out and do my running or yoga when I'm having such a hard time with stuff because I really want to see progress and it just makes everything worse when I don't. I feel so much pressure to do well and reach my goals. I don't feel like I'm very good at anything so it's really frustrating and annoying when I can't even reach goals that I set for myself. I mean, it's really of no consequence if I miss my goals but it's really bothersome to me.There are a list of things I wish I could change/fix but alas, I cannot. Apparently, I can't even change things that I should be able to. I feel like it's impossible to be as bad at running as I am but maybe it's not.
I think perhaps my stress comes from trying so hard and not being able to cut it. You'd think I was gonna tryout for the Olympic team or something but nope, I'm not. This is also the reason I wasn't a piano major, which I would've loved, or why I don't really sing anymore. What's more disappointing, knowing you're not good enough at something or trying your hardest and then finding out you can't cut it?
It's really hard to go out and do my running or yoga when I'm having such a hard time with stuff because I really want to see progress and it just makes everything worse when I don't. I feel so much pressure to do well and reach my goals. I don't feel like I'm very good at anything so it's really frustrating and annoying when I can't even reach goals that I set for myself. I mean, it's really of no consequence if I miss my goals but it's really bothersome to me.There are a list of things I wish I could change/fix but alas, I cannot. Apparently, I can't even change things that I should be able to. I feel like it's impossible to be as bad at running as I am but maybe it's not.
I think perhaps my stress comes from trying so hard and not being able to cut it. You'd think I was gonna tryout for the Olympic team or something but nope, I'm not. This is also the reason I wasn't a piano major, which I would've loved, or why I don't really sing anymore. What's more disappointing, knowing you're not good enough at something or trying your hardest and then finding out you can't cut it?
Monday, March 1, 2010
That's where the weight came from...
This weekend, Josh and I ate out for most of our meals due to being out of town and going to a friends' birthday party. While counting calories I killed my daily allowances and realized that this is where my 30 extra pounds came from. When I eat at home I have a hard time even eating enough calories because fruits and vegetables and fish have so little calories that even though I eat until I'm absolutely stuffed I'm still almost 500 calories under what I'm supposed to be at. I'm not losing the weight because I occasionally have a ridiculous day where I eat over 2500-3000 calories. A friend said she does like a Mediterranean diet. That will probably work really well for us.
Today I'm going to attempt a run outside...Anywhere else in Chicago the sidewalks are clear enough to run, however, there are some empty lots around here and those sidewalks don't get cleared off so I'm a little nervous about the run. This needs to happen for a few reasons.
1) I need to run outside so I see how my pacing is before the race. I definitely don't want to be shocked by the difference of running on a treadmill as opposed to really propelling myself.
2) My Pitador definitely needs to burn off some serious energy. She's been so anxious that when we put her in her crate Saturday she beat her face on the side (she figured out how to escape and so when we figured out how she did it we fixed the problem and she didn't realize that) and now her face is all puffy. Poor Julius.
So, my church is holding a 5/10k in May. I had originally hoped to be running a half marathon in June. I'd like to have a baby in the near future so my doctor has suggested that I don't workout for more than 7 hours a week. As I add mileage I don't want to get too close to the 7 hour mark which I'm anticipating will happen when I start getting closer to the longer distances. I'm calculating roughly 4-5 hours of running a week and with weight training, yoga, and swimming I think I'm gonna start being really close so...if I can work up to the distance slower and shave a little bit of time off my distance I will hopefully shorten my running time enough that I'll have a good window.
The next thing I really need to do is get some new shoes. I currently have a pair of Brooks, which I'm pretty fond of but I'm not married to them. I need a pair of shoes that are narrow and super stable. I have a high arch that's super rigid, that also happens to be collapsing so that sucks. I'm looking into Nike's because of the iPod app they have which is hopefully going to be super marvelous.
I would love to know what some of your menus/schedules look like as well as playlist ideas and running shoes/apparel.
Today I'm going to attempt a run outside...Anywhere else in Chicago the sidewalks are clear enough to run, however, there are some empty lots around here and those sidewalks don't get cleared off so I'm a little nervous about the run. This needs to happen for a few reasons.
1) I need to run outside so I see how my pacing is before the race. I definitely don't want to be shocked by the difference of running on a treadmill as opposed to really propelling myself.
2) My Pitador definitely needs to burn off some serious energy. She's been so anxious that when we put her in her crate Saturday she beat her face on the side (she figured out how to escape and so when we figured out how she did it we fixed the problem and she didn't realize that) and now her face is all puffy. Poor Julius.
So, my church is holding a 5/10k in May. I had originally hoped to be running a half marathon in June. I'd like to have a baby in the near future so my doctor has suggested that I don't workout for more than 7 hours a week. As I add mileage I don't want to get too close to the 7 hour mark which I'm anticipating will happen when I start getting closer to the longer distances. I'm calculating roughly 4-5 hours of running a week and with weight training, yoga, and swimming I think I'm gonna start being really close so...if I can work up to the distance slower and shave a little bit of time off my distance I will hopefully shorten my running time enough that I'll have a good window.
The next thing I really need to do is get some new shoes. I currently have a pair of Brooks, which I'm pretty fond of but I'm not married to them. I need a pair of shoes that are narrow and super stable. I have a high arch that's super rigid, that also happens to be collapsing so that sucks. I'm looking into Nike's because of the iPod app they have which is hopefully going to be super marvelous.
I would love to know what some of your menus/schedules look like as well as playlist ideas and running shoes/apparel.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)